Oral Highjinks

11Aug19

Do nasty gnashers negate sex appeal? Well it’s time to dig out your teeth whitening strips and listen to Dukey, Sylvia and Marsha explore this not-so-age-old question. The trio have been indulging in a lot of trash telly this summer and a recent dental hygiene advert has them all baffled.

They’ll also ponder whether stalking can affect one’s driving skills in the return of ‘Analyse This’. Does Sugababes’ member Mutya Buena really feel fine in her Song 4 Mutya (Outta Control) or is it just the positive self talk we all need to be engaging in? You don’t need to be a sassy diva to tune in and find out but it would certainly help.

 

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Can rejection letters be a source of extreme arousal? Should couples be loudly discussing 'couply business' in the gym while working out? Can anonymous notes containing questions such as 'how do you poop?' be considered art if they're tastefully placed on the recycling bins of neighbours? All of these questions are answered by Dukey, Marsha and Sylvia in this latest instalment of The Dukey Radio Show. 

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We are back. You could even call it a resurrection. Dukey, Sylvia and Marsha celebrate Easter by exploring doughnut diversions, toilets converted into offices and create a musical based on The Omen film franchise complete with choreography. 

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The Dukey Radio Show had a little tipple and put its best face forward into the New Year with a spruced up podcast and brand spanking new name.  And then – sound of needle scratching across vinyl – what? A tardy Google revealed that the name we’d chosen, Skip to the End, was already the moniker of another rather fine podcast.  What to do? Take inspiration from Howard Hughes of course. Isn’t that what you would have done? The eccentric gazillionaire didn’t just chuck away his bloated airplane, he dubbed Spruce Goose, when he realised it was too big to fly, he made it a museum attraction. 

Like Hughes’s folly, we hung onto the podcast we’d recorded, complete with newly conceived theme tune, because it will please you. Dukey, Marsha and Sylvia investigate the glories of Femme Fatale Felt Porn, Dukey discusses his recent ‘opening’ and Irene releases her inner LL Cool J. Because some things are good enough to be saved from deletion. Oh hey… wait… that’s a cool name for a podcast. Let’s go with that.

We’re back, peeps. Saved from Deletion. And boy does that feel good.

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As Ferris Bueller warned us, life moves pretty fast. So much so that one needs to apply the brakes every now again just to maintain a degree of sanity. But what sporting event forced our very own Sylvia Silversmith to dig out the beta blockers (and doughnuts) just to cope. And, talking of triumphs of the human endeavour, Dukey and his partners in crime also discuss the spectacle of the late Leigh Bowery and his impressive ability to give birth to his own wife via his vagina while mid-song. Meanwhile, Slutty Sue considers treatment options for her thirsty bush while Minty's 'Nice To See You' is put under the spotlight in the welcome return of 'Analyse This'.  

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Life is a cabaret, old chum. And it really is. Dukey recently had to fill in on bass duties for an Australian cabaret act who were performing in not just any venue but a ‘Gay Super Pub’. And it really was. With much fabulousness promised, Sylvia went along for the ride. And what a ride it was. Cocktail mixing hula dancers, Prosecco roadies and a drag queen weatherman. And what great weather we’ve enjoyed ever since.

The pair inform Marsha about the intricate details of the evening via banter that spans the spectrum from television judges to autopsies via serial killers. But, in the end, all Sylvia wants to find out is how much lungs are supposed to weigh.

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Flamenco Dancing, FBI Application Forms, Milky Dicks and trying to find out what happened to Thora Birch. These are just four of the topics our very own Dukey discussed with our two special guests in this instalment of TDRS. 

Carmen Lynch

An undoubted highlight of TDRS's visit to Edinburgh Fringe last year, this six foot tall comedy tour de force started her career as a flamenco dancer and very nearly worked for the FBI. Our theory is that 'the bureau' thought she was too funny to realistically undertake any assignments. The likes of Scarface were not brought down by jokes, were they? This NYC based comedian has appeared on pretty much every late night US chat show under the lack of sun (Conan, Colbert, Letterman and Ferguson) and has had Chloe Sevigny direct her in a short film for Miu Miu. And nearly nine months since first seeing her perform in Scotland's capital, Sylvia, Marsha and Dukey still do regular impressions of Carmen's fantastic one hour show. To find out more about Carmen, click your way to her website - Carmen Lynch's Website. You can also find her on twitter via @lynchcarmen and Instagram through @lynchcomic  Lynch's YouTube channel is filled with hilarious original content that will fill your life with joy - Carmen's YouTube Channel. We especially urge you to take in the majesty of 'Quilt Woman'. There's NOTHING wrong with her. Carmen's Album, "Dance Like You Don't Need the Money", is available on iTunes.

John Reynolds

This 'hunky man with a hunky voice' is a comedy writer, improviser and cartoonist who wrote for “The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” for six years and currently pens the best bits for “The President Show” on Comedy Central. This renaissance man is also a world class artist and his work recalls David Shrigley AND the Beano. You'll agree as soon as you click your way to his website - John Reynold's Website. Follow John on Twitter @reyntoons and Instagram @afistfulofbabies

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We imbibe, we fornicate, we make merry and frankly, if you have a problem with that, then…. Oh no, wait a minute…. Sorry… it’s just that this week Sylvia has been scolded, on two separate occasions, by officious women and everyone’s just a little on the defensive as a result.

Never mind because while she’s been having a doo doo of a time, Dukey has been having a more… well….Dada time. Like the absurdist art movement, he too has been involved in some screwy hijinks including an intra-band cage fight, a steampunk crowd who go all MacGyver on his ass and his very own ‘Hello, Cleveland’ moment.

Dukey also encountered a band who love the movie Mad Max: Fury Road well….. a lot… like seriously a lot. And they, like us, enjoy libations, relations and jubilations so much that they’ve written an entire song about it and we’ve stolen it from them for the title of this episode.

Join us as we examine all of the above as well as raise the questions: Why does Dukey know so many quotes from ‘Pretty Woman’? Why is Marsha going to the opera if she’s so freaked out about it? And what the hell is the brown note? (Do you know what it is? Shhhhhh…. don’t give it away.)

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Can a podcast make you see things? Well The Dukey Radio Show sure can and this week Dukey and the gang are going to put pictures in your heads that you won’t be able to look away from. There’s the ill-considered display of an ancestral photo at a wedding that shows the groom’s great grandparents sporting a certain…well… uniform…. And then there’s the spectacle of the health and safety breach of a vagina on a bowling alley’s food service countertop. Gee whiz, see that? That’s an awful lot of patriotic people wearing Union Jacks at that funeral… hmmmm…. wait a minute… pretty sure the deceased wasn’t a member of the forces. Then why is the coffin draped in the British flag? Uh oh…. And to introduce the new segment ‘Stretch that Rhyme’ Dukey and the gang have subjected themselves to the video for ‘Ebony and Ivory’. Why? Well so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.

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Anuses

Nazi pizzas

Matter

Sylvia’s cookies

The real meaning of the word ‘fine’

What’s that you say?  You’re sick to the back teeth of everyone going on about dry effing January and they’re effing health kick? Well how about an antidote to all that? Sure there’s talk about going to the gym but that’s only because Sylvia’s noticed that lots of people working out are putting their anuses on display. And because Irene is trying to get a 6-pack in less than 10 minutes. But Dukey and the gang are also chewing the fat (literally) over Sylvia’s chocolate chip cookie baking obsession. And what’s the deal with the Nazi pizza? Don’t worry, it will all be ‘fine’.

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